It’s been over three years in this house and I want out. Did you know that when my family and I first walked into this home on our first day of purchase, we were met with dog poop and urine stains all over the carpets upstairs? This was at a time when our son was only 10 months old, crawling around and putting everything in his mouth. Poop. And urine. But how would you know that since you just met me? I say this now so you can feel the shock that I feel every time I think of that horrid memory that was scald into my brain and nasal passages and so we can start from the beginning of why I have been driven to write this blog.
So, back to the poopy and urine stinky carpets…
In our purchase agreement, the sellers asked if they could “rent” the house they were selling to us for one month since the home they were moving into was delayed in it’s building process. Sure. Why not? We are reasonable people and why not help a family who was moving due to taking in an elderly mother. So, we rented it back to them for one month. This is when I suspect the cleaning of the poop and the urine did not take place because if I would have smelled that shit, I would’ve known because I am cursed with a nose that smells everything! I once walked into a bathroom in a rental house and told the landlord there was black mold behind the vanity and he thought I was a crazy over-paranoid mother. I asked if he could just check and sure enough, black mold. That’s what I mean by everything so I would NOT have missed poop and urine. That’s too easy. Back to my story…after much deliberation between the agents and our lawyer, the sellers ended up paying for new carpet upstairs since the carpet was not in the same condition it was during inspection. This all took two months to be agreed upon and in the meantime, we could not move our kids into their rooms, that’s how bad the rooms were. Did I mention our son was 10 months old at the time?
We got through the whole ordeal but it did take about two to three months to get settled into our home and as I look back at it, it was just sad. I sort of feel a bit robbed. Robbed of that feeling a couple experiences when moving into a home with their two children they may be possibly be raising them in and creating many years of memories of Life lived in the home. Moving with two kids, one being under a year old, is not easy and moving into an unwelcome experience only made it that much harder and stressful.
Shortly after the move I ended up getting really sick which has affected my life since. I was so sick that my doctor put me on bed rest. The frustrating thing is not one doctor could actually tell me what is wrong. The hardest part of all of it is I look okay but there are days that I literally am crawling up the stairs I’m so fatigued. Yes, this is three years later. This is not an easy thing to battle with two active children.
I can look at this whole experience and can continue living my life feeling this resentment towards my house OR I can choose to take it one day at time and do my best to fill it with love. I’ve come up with a few ideas or inspirations that may change things up a bit.
One thing I know is we have too much stuff and I want to get rid of what we don’t love or need anymore. Plain and simple. This is something I have wanted to do but get stifled the minute I start doing it. Enough is enough. Is it true that decluttering can relieve some stress? I believe it will. This house has been so neglected and I not only plan to declutter my own stuff, I plan on making home improvements that make sense and are in the budget to do so.
In return, if I can get through all of my stuff and make some small and some large improvements to the home and still feel the way I do right now, then we are out of here. If however, I feel better physically and have gained a sense of peace and serenity that I so yearn for then I will stay if this is where we are meant to stay.
So, here are my challenges to myself:
- I will work on one project a week of home improvement. That project can be something as simple as updating the light switch covers to white instead of 1970s beige to something like replacing a chandelier.
- I will spend 15 minutes a day decluttering something. To keep focus, I will cut up written pieces of paper of areas in the home that could use decluttering, place the papers in a jar and select one task out of the jar each day. Each task can only take 15 minutes! I’m going to call this “Beat the Timer” task of the day.
- Once a week I will try something new outside of the house. Whether it is a new food at a new restaurant or something I’ve always wanted to try that doesn’t involve food…or maybe even something I’m scared of. The list of ideas will be posted shortly. I think this is important even though it doesn’t have anything to do with the home front because I have been so consumed by the home and how horrible I feel that getting out actually helps me feel better which in return helps me reacquaint myself with the part of me that was inspired and full of passion.
- I will post a photograph of the week. I am learning how to use my SLR camera on Manual settings so photographers, please be gentle. I’m learning.
